Saturday, January 14, 2012
Moms are on my mind today. First of all, my wonderful, beautiful mother is coming to visit me for the day! We don't live very far apart, but she is a very busy woman and we don't get a chance to hang out just the two of us very often. We are going to look at all of the baby stuff I've already acquired since she hasn't seen most of it, and then do some shopping. For me mainly. I've been very blessed with two lovely sisters-in-law who lent me a ton of awesome maternity clothes, so I have only actually bought about three maternity items for myself. As awesome as those borrowed clothes are, I'm getting the itch to get a few new outfits. Mommas are great to go shopping with. I think my mom and I probably went shopping every Saturday when I was in junior high and high school. I always seemed to think I needed this or that. The funny part is, I never shop as an adult. You may think I'm exaggerating, but I probably shop for myself three to four times a year. Second (I need to get back on track here), my grandma is on hospice. She is 77 (I think) and suffers from Alzheimer's, dementia, and Parkinson's I believe. We think it may just be here time to go. According to my mom, she has said several times that she would like to die. Not in a morbidly weird way, but in that way so many older people seem to reach at a certain point. My grandma, Shirley, has been an affectionately tender grandma. I have vivid memories of her rocking me to sleep singing lullabies in my ear, snuggling close on the couch during a movie, and in recent years, holding my hand probably to comfort her more than be my grandma. I am sad that my little one may not get to be loved by her. At least not here on earth. But at least she knows the baby is coming. That's something, isn't it. Third, I am going to be a momma very soon. I would even argue that I already am one. It has been an eye-opening, amazing experience for me to morph into this selfless (hopefully) being focused on providing the best for a person I haven't even met yet. The love I have learned innately from this time has been incredible. I now can at least relate, even if it is in the slightest bit, to mommas everywhere. What an incredible love. I can't wait to fully know this love very soon.